


love

by jhopeinfiresme



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Comfort, Friendship, Informal Grammar, Light Angst, Lore Building, Multiple Dimensions, Platonic Relationships, Talking, Unspecified Actions, Unspecified Setting, lapslock, quiet talks, spoiler i guess?, their names aren't mentioned, u will read this in like five minutes and thats okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-18 22:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22567699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhopeinfiresme/pseuds/jhopeinfiresme
Summary: "can you see when your eyes go white like that?"she tilts her head, eyes going back to dazzling blue. a shining sea of millions of galaxies. "huh?"
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	love

**Author's Note:**

> this is super informal and i really dont want to butter it up like my others because it's not really The Best Piece of Fiction Out There and I was actually gonna just keep it but - I'm sharing it because it really... felt good to write it. It's not just a dump though, I did go through to make sure there aren't spelling errors and everything, I'm not a heathen >:T

"can you see when your eyes go white like that?"

she tilts her head, eyes going back to dazzling blue. a shining sea of millions of galaxies. "huh?"

"your eyes. when they go white or cloudy or whatever. like, can you see? are you blind?"

"oh. no." she looks away, uninterested maybe. "the opposite really. i can see more than anyone. more than i could. more than i would like."

her voice isn't sad. just flat. just like her expression as she continues her task. it's mindless. she's done it time and time again, maybe hundreds of times in just a week. bright blue eyes follow her deft fingers seamlessly, a gentle crease in her brow indicating concentration, or annoyance, or both.

he stays silent for a minute, going back to his task too. in and out. over and under. again and again. thinking and thinking. he purses his lips. "what do you see." glancing at her, he's seeing if she's upset. she's not. he doesn't think.

her shoulders fall, frozen and limp all at once.

a soft breath, exhausted and content.

"now." she says. then back to the task. "now in a thousand, a million, a billion different ways. different worlds, all the same time. all at once." quiet. "and they see this too."

he's looking at her now, the task forgotten. she doesn't meet him, just continues. "that's pretty vague, you know." the corner of her lip quirks. he chuckles quietly, then leans in. gently, "really though. what happens…"

she raises an eyebrow, glancing to him, then back. "i just said." he's quiet. she sighs softer this time. "it lets me see into the other worlds. i see through all of their eyes at this moment. and if they're looking too, they'll see through mine."

"like opening a door?"

"yes."

he thinks. would it ruin anything? no. he's just curious, but his heart beats a little faster, skin gets a little tingly. he's afraid. insecure. "then why-" looking away, she looks up. "why do you always do it when you look at me?"

he turns to her and is caught in grey clouds, tense brows, a stern, confused, frown. he flounders. "i just. kinda." force a laugh and look away. "thought you went blind or something. like you didn't want to look at me. haha…"

"no…"

a grimace. "then?"

"the opposite." she's going back to the task. over and under. again and again. cool, calm, collected. concentrated or annoyed, he doesn't know. anything. he forgot how to do it himself. so he watches her.

"there are places, you know. worlds where things are different. people are the same but their feelings are changed. some people fall in love. and others don't." she looks at him, eyes narrow like blades of silver, piercing his soft soul. "you are loved. and when you are missed, i can show them you're not gone forever."

blue eyes. back to the task. he can't. "what?"

she snorts, amused. not annoyed. "what."

"i'm. i'm what?" his face is red. he can't look at one thing for too long. his mind is racing. "what?"

blue catches brown. calm waves to calm storms. a smile to keep the broken one from wavering. "you're loved."

"by-" he wants to look down, to blink away in confusion, but she keeps him steady. "by who?"

a grin. is that a laugh? "me, silly." his shock is clear and so is disbelief, all shown by a silent face of squinted eyes and an open mouth. "not by me, though. not this me. another one." she rolls her eyes in a gentle wave to watch her hands again as he does too. "some of them love you. and when you're gone…"

"you miss me?" he tries.

"they miss you." she confirms, a small nodding. "when i see you, i open the door. so that if they miss you, they might see you again."

quietly, "you do that?"

"yes." over and under, over and under.

"for me…?"

her lips purse a moment. "for them." another. "is it so hard?" she directs to him. "to know you're loved? really, truly loved?"

he scoffs, and rips away. "no." a hand scratches his neck, touches the tools, moves mindlessly. "no." he glances at her, heavy eyes meeting inquiring ones. "no."

she tilts her head. "do you love me?"

an outburst of laughter that wreaks his body begins. his eyes shut and his hands clasp his stomach. he almost rolls off the side but she grabs him steady with her.

when he's done, he wipes a tear. "no." she believes him. she knows.

"okay."

he sighs. looking out instead of down. she continues her task and he watches the sky. "do they really though?" she nods though he isn't looking. "love me?"

"yes." in and out. over and under.

"why though?" he's curious now. cool, calm, collected.

she smirks, "you deserve it, they say."

"i know," he winks toward them.

"you don't."

"huh?"

"not here." she frowns and slows down. looks at him and finds him wondering what he's done. "you don't know it in this world. you don't believe you can be truly loved."

"i do…"

"no."

he scowls and turns away, back down at his unfinished work, picking up the tools to begin again. "you said people are the same but feelings are different. you love me somewhere else, someone loves me somewhere else. not here. not in this world. people's feelings are different right? right. "

"yes." she stops to watch him. watch him do the same thing over and over again and again. "but people are the same. no matter who loves you when or where, you are still you. you still deserve to be loved."

"no one loves me."

"i love you."

he makes a face and stops for just a moment to show it to her. she stares at him. "i do. in a different way."

he sighs loudly, head shaking it all away to try to focus, distract himself. "it's not the same."

"no, but it means all the same." she insists. "you are loved. you deserve it."

"yeah."

she's quiet. watches him again as his movements become erratic. his jaw tense and his eyes narrowed. concentrated, annoyed. her eyes fall, blue to grey, just like her heart.

she spends a few minutes there, watching him, listening to them, looking for help. he gets annoyed.

"stop that."

blue blinks like a bolt of lightning. "what…?"

"i- i said stop it." he glances at her blue eyes like they're oceans of endless unknown depths. "don't show me like that."

"i'm asking for help."

"i don't need help."

"i need help." he keeps his mouth shut and his eyes down. she frowns again and sighs. quietly, she tells him, "they love you." his mouth pulls to one side for a split second. "they don't want you to be sad."

"okay."

"i don't want you to be sad." he hums. she wonders. what will happen? if things might change. "i shouldn't say, so i didn't. but i will… you know… you're loved."

"you said that."

"not by me. by someone else. here. in this world. someone loves you in a different way than i do. in the way you want."

he stops. slowly. he watches his hands though they're not moving. for a while it's quiet. his body relaxes, but slumps. she wonders what's wrong. this is wrong. it's supposed to be the opposite. her heart feels heavy and she knows deep down, something might change it.

"who." he asks, softly, carefully. hopelessly.

"someone…" is all she can say. she doesn't know everything, and knows she shouldn't say anything, so he has to be okay with this. she hopes he will be. he deserves everything.

after a moment, he picks up his tools again. back to the task, slowly, in a way like he's just begun. "i'm loved, huh?"

"really, truly loved."

"do i really truly love?"

"of course." she gives him. "of course you do. it's wonderful, beautiful even. you love and are loved, just as you deserve. here, just not now."

"that's pretty vague, you know," he manages. but he's okay. he's not upset and everyone is okay. nothing has changed and he continues his task like he's done a hundred times this week. his eyes are soft, his smile too. he glances to her and she keeps her eyes blue.

"thanks." he says calmly.

she smiles, and goes back to her task. "you're welcome."

"not you. the others. for having great taste." he clarifies.

she snorts and shakes her head though he can't see it. "yeah. great."

she tilts her head just slightly to see him work, keeping an eye on him to make sure everything is truly okay and unchanged. she meets his brown eyes in a similar manner, him watching her work before giving her big, genuine smile. her dazzling blue eyes roll like waves as they turn into cloudy mist and settle on his grin. she's unsure but she thinks he winks charmingly. she doesn't know everything, and doesn't see everything, but the laughter and happiness that she hears and feels from those around her let her know everything is just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> haha thanks for readdingnnn i really felt this when i was writing it. i dont know what I felt but there were feelings.
> 
> pls check out my other,, much Longer and thought out works. love u


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